Surviving Small Business Burnout

It's been a year since I last blogged, and about as long that I've been away from social media. At the time, it wasn't so much a decision to get off but more of a choice to not get back on. I took it off my phone which helped keep me from mindlessly logging in, as I noticed I was doing more and more. I wanted to see what life was like without it. I wondered what I would be like without it, and what I would do with my time. It did take some time to adjust. I was so used to getting on my phone when I had small amounts of time here and there. With my socials I didn't even have to think about it. I clicked and scrolled and tapped until I had to come back and be present for whatever reason. These were chances to take breaks from associating with the pressures and stressors of everyday living. I find myself having to recharge after spending a lot of time with people. Especially with my job as a Personal Trainer. In order to be effective, I have to be all there, and I have to be with them and there for them for the entire session. I have to listen and lead, and explain the exercises and why they are doing them. I have to demonstrate and critique and guide as they go. It's a lot, and it can take a lot out of me by the end of the day. For awhile, I was feeling burnt out. This was new for me in this job. I've been a Personal Trainer for 12 years and have had my own business for 4. I was too proud to do this to feel anything negative about it. As a restaurant server, I felt burnt out all the time. But not with Personal Training. This was supposed to be the answer to all of that. It turns out that too much of a good thing, really can be too much. Because I loved doing it so much and felt beyond fortunate to be able to do this job, I didn't take into consideration my own needs. I didn't think about making space for breaks for myself during the day. I would drive from client to client, many times without having nourished myself or even giving myself time to use the bathroom. That's restaurant life for you. And I was done with that. I was getting up too early and I was driving too far. I was trying to fit too many sessions into a workday, too close together. I was feeling overwhelmed, spread thin, and worn out. For awhile, I wasn't sure what I was going to do, and still hadn't realized there was plenty I could do. I had to make changes and I had to start somewhere.

We have a senior cat who has kidney disease and for the last two years, we have been treating her with prescribed cat food. She only likes to eat small amounts at a time, but she's always hungry, so we constantly have to pick the food up off the floor and cover it up so the other cats won't eat it. It's pricey and you can't just pick it up at the store. It's a whole thing. This behavior of wanting to eat on and off all day long, lasts through the night and into the morning, so we are often up between two and four times a night to feed her, otherwise she terrorizes the kitchen. I was doing this and still getting up for work. My wife was too. I was so tired of feeling so tired. As difficult of a decision as it was, I decided to no longer train my 6:30 a.m. client at that time, so that I could take the later shifts feeding the cat and start my morning later to get the rest I needed. I realized that I am only so good at my job if I don't feel strong myself. And I don't feel strong when I feel tired and lack rest.

The next thing I wanted to tackle was to have time for lunch and other personal appointments, and I didn't want to feel so rushed about it. I have over 20 clients at any given time, which means I have to be flexible and diligent with managing my schedule. My eldest client is 97 years old and my youngest is 13, and I have every type of client in between. Some of them have health issues. Some travel often. Some go down south for the entire winter. Some have stressful jobs or things going on with their family. Situations arise that can provide opportunities for me to assess and change my schedule often enough, that I decided I would start scheduling my sessions with more time in between. I used to want to get everyone done in a block so that I could remain in Trainer mode, so to speak. I felt that if I had too many or too long of breaks, I could lose focus. Now, I trust my methods more. I give myself more time in between. I make breakfast. I eat lunch. Nourishing my body helps me be more present. How focused can you really be if your stomach is growling?

Another aspect of feeling rushed, I felt, stemmed from having to drive all over town to get to my sessions. Throughout a normal workday, I will travel to private homes, assisted living homes, clubhouses and gyms too. When I first started with my business, I was taking clients when and where I could get them. Now, I have people who I've worked with for several years who truly care about me and my well-being. I thought they might want to help me feel more at peace, so I asked a few about switching times and/or days and they were happy to do it. Now, instead of driving back and forth, I take a few clients back, and then I take a few clients forth. It's much less stressful. I don't feel like I'm everywhere all the time anymore. I finally feel like I can really take my time, and that I can be 100% what my clients need me to be while I'm there with them.

I think we forget that we can talk to our people. I suppose some of our people aren't so easy to talk to and that's why we treat everyone that way. I found myself in situations in my life where I was so used to not getting what I wanted or needed, I not only stopped asking, but I stopped considering it all together. I stopped wanting things, and I hoped for change less. When you're in the wrong place with the wrong people, you feel like you have to go along to survive. You can't shake things up by having other needs or different feelings about a matter. I'm grateful that I am no longer in that place. I can speak my truth and open my heart and the chances that the other person will allow that, and not tell me that I'm wrong or crazy or difficult, is far greater. Because I trust in what I say and how I feel now, and when you are confident in what you say, others will listen, and be more likely to respond with care.

If things in your life or at work aren’t feeling like they’re flowing, my advice is to take a step back. Often times, things don’t need to be the way that they are. We just let ourselves get used to them, and chances are that the people around us have too. Maybe they are also ready for a change.

Ram Dass said, “Everything changes once we identify with being the witness to the story, instead of the actor in it.” And it does. Things change. We change. We might not be so hard on ourselves if we look from the outside in. We may even have more compassion for our errors and our missteps. That can help us be more compassionate with others. And that's how the world gets better. We get better.